When Reality Doesn't Meet Expectations

Have you ever planned a trip or day outing and things just don’t work out the way you plan?  You gas up the car, make your hotel reservations, have the directions on hand, and then when you get there things don’t quite work out the way you plan. When I plan a trip, I have an idea in my head what the hotel will be like and what our outings and experiences will be. I used to hyper schedule every day and every outing, but between kids and weather, I learned the hard way that this was just setting me up for a letdown. 

When reality is different than those expectations it can be hard to digest. Things never look like they do on the website pictures. Items on the map may be closer (or further!) than they appear. Pools are ALWAYS much smaller than they show on the brochures and websites. The 10-day forecast may be completely wrong. Kids get sick. Tickets are sold out. Lines are too long.  Don’t preconceived notions just set us up for disappointment?

We form these ideas based on pictures we have seen, previous experiences, what people have told us, and maybe even stuff we’ve seen on TV. What a different experience we might have if we go into it with no expectations at all. Hard to do, but a goal worth aspiring to, I think. It is mindfulness at its highest level. Really living in and appreciating the moment. Letting go of expectations.

Planning is one thing, and often necessary when you need tickets or reservations, and budgeting for things, but doing it without pre-experiencing the outcome is another. We are leaving next week for another trip.  We are staying with friends for part of the trip and winging it for the rest. Literally, winging it…no reservations and no concrete plan where we will end up. All I know is that we will travel south from where our friends house in the DC area along the Atlantic Coast/Outer Banks region for a few days. Over the last few years, when we travel, we have started to rely on websites like HotWire.com to find a nice hotel in the area we want to stay.  It has proven to provide us with wonderful surprises over the last few years.  Even when we do it last minute! In Chicago, we found ourselves on a very high floor of a gorgeous hotel overlooking the river and the Magnificent Mile for under $100 per night!  Now this is where I have to check my expectations. We have had amazing luck in our travels before. Where we end up staying really isn’t that important, as long as it’s clean. It is just a place to rest our heads for the evening until our travel adventure continues the next day.
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We may plan certain outings with our friends, as they like to share their hometown with us. We have been to some of the places in the DC area before so we at least know what the environment is at some of the locations we may go, but I will be trying not to anticipate the experience this year. If we see cherry blossoms, Great! If not, I will focus on all the other beautiful things there that I have not seen before.  When we return to venues and monuments we have been to before, I plan to see them with new eyes. What did I not see the first time around, when I was traveling as a mom of 2 boys who needed to be entertained and watched constantly so they wouldn’t wander away or touch something they shouldn’t?  When we traveled with the boys, I wanted so much for them to enjoy themselves and remember the trips we took. As a mom, I was trying to see and experience things through their eyes. I was setting an expectation for them and myself and the events that it would be memorable or wonderful or worthwhile. It will be a completely new exercise for me to really experience a trip for myself, seeing things anew, through my own adult eyes…with no expectations. Bon Voyage!

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